Joke thread....

by **Dean** Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:15 am

Is there a joke thread on here? I'll post one here anyway..............

What are Michel Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Jade Goody expecting for christmas???

Patrick Swayze.......

by Guest Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:02 pm

What do older women have between their breasts that younger women don't?

.............. A belly button affraid

by Guest Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:05 pm

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him, and during her questions about his life she asked him what he did about sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, Tarzan use a hole in the trunk of tree!"

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong! I'll show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes, dropped to the ground and spread her legs wide.

"Here," she said, "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer, and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony.

Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees first!"

by **Dean** Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:08 pm

by Guest Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:13 pm

A math teacher and his wife were both 54 years old. One evening the wife came home and found a note from her husband. It said: ''My dear, you are 54 years old and there are some things you are not giving me, so I am at the Holiday Inn with my 18-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me.''

He returns home that night to find a note from his wife: ''You are also 54 years old and there are things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel with one of your 18-year-old students and you (being a maths teacher) should know that 18 goes into 54 way more than 54 goes into 18, so don't YOU wait up for ME.''

by Guest Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:22 pm

What do you call a smart blonde ?

...... A Golden Retriever !

by Guest Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:29 pm

Q: What will history remember Bill Clinton as ?

A: The President after Bush !

by Guest Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:51 pm

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After about 15 minutes the husband came out of her room and announced that she was dead!

"How did that happen?" asked the doctor.

"I think she choked to death," said the husband.